The other day I received an email in my inbox from a renowned coaching school, in which one of their tele-seminars was praised. It was going to be a 7 week course on “how to jam-pack my teleclasses and to use them as a means to make money and gain clients”.
“Good grief”, I thought. “Yet another thing to do in order to become an even better coach, or at least a better money maker. I probably need to take this course …………..”
The whole thing immediately got me thinking on a “meta-level”. Do we really NEED to DO all this much to become who and what we would like to become in our lives, or is there an alternative? It seems that nearly every coaching school -that goes for us coaches specifically, but it counts just the same for every other profession- has adopted the vision that a good coach can only be a coach who continually takes course after course after course to keep up with the rest of the masses. And like I said, every profession suffers from this “there is more to do/learn/study”-syndrome. Even as a lawyer in Holland I had to take training after training as part of the permanent education programme.
Now understand me correctly, I haven’t got anything against studying and gaining more understanding. On the contrary, I love it, and strongly encourage you to follow as much knowledge-providing courses as you can. Do them just for the fun of it!
The whole thing that goes against the grain with me is that there is an image being built and held up high by course-developers, and by society in general. It is the image that you cannot be a good enough coach/professional/human being if you have not taken these courses or done all sorts of other things.
The presupposition I read behind all the courses that are developed and all that is required from us as humans is: “you are not good enough (yet), you need to do more to become adequate”. It might be my twisted mind that wants to see it that way, but I am quite sure I am on the right track.
Now, and here’s the question that popped up in my mind, is DOING indeed the answer to growing a successful life/career, or have we all fallen in a collective thought mind-trap? have we made a grand mistake by adopting this “need to do more”- belief? Are we turning into human doings instead of human beings? Our whole society seems to revolve around doing, doing, doing as the necessary tool to achievement –to the point that people get stressed out completely. Less and less do we focus on what each of us truly is: a human being…being…being.
I do not (and cannot) claim to have the answer for everybody, but I hope my point of view will get you thinking about your own convictions on this matter.
In Taoism, which I like a lot, it is pretty clear:
“In the practice of The Way (that is what “Tao” or “Dao” means) every day something is dropped. Less and less do you need to force things, until finally you arrive at non-action. When nothing is done, nothing is left undone”.
As I said: I like that!
One of the guiding principles of Taoism is that of “wu wei”, which roughly translates into “effortless action”. Taoism says that all things that are in accordance with Tao do what they are supposed to do without any fuss, and they think not of doing anything that is “unnatural” for them to do. A tree sways with the wind. A plant grows out of a seed naturally. The wind blows this way, then that way. A bird flies, looks for food and procrastinates. The earth turns, and moves around in the universe.
All these things go naturally, and according to their purpose. The same should count for us. If you don’t know what to do, Taoism says, you first have to find out what your purpose is, which every one of us can do if you put the effort in.
The whole idea of Taoism and life is best represented in the “life” of water. Water flows without disturbance; whenever it bumps into something, it seeks and finds another way to flow again, back to its source, the ocean.
Now all of this sounds great from a philosophical perspective, but how can it be applied to our human race, that seems to bump into “stuff” all of the time and gets stuck immovably, and that for some reason seems to have lost the keys to all the closed doors it comes across?
My answer is that we should focus more on our “beingness”. That’s where it all begins and ends with anyway. We are born into the world “being”, and in our very last moment on this earth we are “being” again. All that we are going to do after birth, and all that we have done before we die does not matter at those points in time, really.
In our earthly existence between being born and dying, intent is the most important part of getting things done, and intent is a form of being; it is not the actual doing that will get you places.
If you want to see things happen or change in your life, you first have to create a mental picture of what it is that you would like to be, do or have. If you have that picture, a “clear mental image” as Wallace Wattles calls it in “the science of getting rich”, then just focus on it long enough until you get positive vibes about it (until you feel really good, that is). As soon as you have those, you will KNOW what action to take to get there, and it will be effortless action, just as water finds a new way after running into an obstacle.
The trick with this is, that you focus completely on what you want, and not on what you do not want. Your intent is “toward motivated”, and that will yield you effortless results. In most of our lives, the things we desire and do are “away motivated”. You desire money because you do not want to be poor; you desire a good job because otherwise you will not be significant; you want a steady relationship because you do not want to feel insecure anymore; you sign up for all kinds of insurances because you do not want to run any risk; you sign up for all sorts of courses because you do not want to lag behind.
Get the point?
Life is pretty simple, really. What you focus on is (usually) what you get. Your focus, which is purely a state of being, directs your actions, and the law of attraction (more about that in another article!) happily provides you more of what you focus on. So, as an example, if you focus all your thoughts on acquiring money because you do not want to feel poor anymore, your intent is on a “lack of”, and universe provides you more of THAT: a lack of money! And you wanted MORE!
More important, though is, that all the action you take (with the negative intent) will be fear-based action. You will feel anxiety, overwhelm, doubt, worry, etc., whenever you take action from a “do not want”-intent. There’s hardly any positive feeling about what you are doing.
Society to a great degree fosters this “take action to prevent bad things from happening”, so it’s not always easy to get out of that line of thinking. Moreover, as I said before, there is also huge emphasis placed on the “doing” as the way to get good things done. Sayings like “no pain, no gain” and “the devil finds work for idle hands” etc, proclaim this too. If you do not work hard and struggle, you are not going to get anywhere!
Wrong!, in my opinion. In the whole creation process, action comes last! Creation starts with the art of doing nothing, which is “being”. Then you have to get a clear picture of what you want, which is “thought”. What follows next is the “feeling” about what you want. Does your clear picture appeal to you? Does it ring right? Does it make you feel good? Then, and only then, it is time to take “action” towards your goal. Because your intent is “toward” motivated, and you feel good, your actions will be effortless, a state of doing without doing. Your desired results will follow automatically.
The only thing you really have to do is listen to your “emotional guidance system” (see the “Abraham” books by Esther and Jerry Hicks), i.e. you feelings. When the action you want to take feels right, sounds good and looks swell, go for it! That action is in line with what you want, and will yield you great results!
If the action that you planned to take gives you a bad visual, does not vibrate correctly and provides you with conflicting messages, then it is probably wise not to do anything yet! That action will be fear-driven, and will ultimately get you more of what you do not want! Stay focused on the “do want”, and wait until your intention is positive again (either by looking for alternatives, or by focusing more on your “being”). Then go for it.
For me it was obvious: when I got the invitation to join for the course on more effective teleconferencing, my vibes were not good. I felt that I needed it in order to be a more successful coach. That is not a good base to sign up for a course, and so I didn’t. Yet. It might be different in two months time…..
It was different with (for instance) the NLP training I did. When I came across that opportunity it rang true immediately, and made me feel all “bubbly” inside. THIS was going to be something GREAT! That is a very good reason to sign up, and doing the course was a beautiful breeze. Hardly any action necessary.
What’s the upshot? Go by feel, and go with the flow. Be vigilant about why you plan to do something. Is it because you deeply desire to do it, or is it because you feel you need to, ought to, have to, or must? In the big picture it does not matter. As I often say (I am not religious!): “God will love me anyway”. But in your life you want to have things go as smoothly as possible. Not only will going with the flow give you much more of what you want, it also means that you never ever have to do anything anymore that does not seem like a good thing to do, given the goals you are striving for. Life becomes much more fun. And that is a good thing!
Marc is a certified coach and master NLP Practitioner in Queensland, Australia. He specialises in coaching people at critical junctions in their careers and/or lives. Visit http://www.landmarc.info for more info!
